One of Shackleton's crew was attacked by a ferocious leopard seal. We described this event using fronted adverbials.
Isaac
Out of nowhere, a ferocious sea leopard ambushed me. The
fierce nemesis swiped at me with its gun metal grey fin. It was a 13-foot-long
monster. Suddenly, it let out a savage scream. I looked around to see Frank
Wild with a rifle in his hand. It was dead a moment later.
Vincent
Out of the freezing water, a sea leopard catapulted itself
at me. It grabbed my foot and pulled me off balance. I kicked out with my free
leg, but it only tightened its grip. Wild appeared with his rifle. The beast
saw Wild and sped towards him. Ferociously, the beast leapt at Wild. When he
shot it in the eye blood trickled out and stained the ice red.
Libby
Suspiciously, I felt something or someone creeping up on me.
Carefully I looked around and out of nowhere a savage beast ambushed me. He had
dark black eyes, razor sharp canines and a smooth grey body. He was as almost
as big as me. Luckily, Wild was prepared for anything and he shot him as soon
as he could.
Eve
Ferociously, out of nowhere a blood thirsty leopard seal
ambushed me. I tried to get free but that vicious, hungry carnivore held on. It
was like a tiger leaping in action. It was too difficult to run away. I could
see all the blood running down my own tired legs. I thought that I was going to
die. I was screaming in horror. Luckily, Wild had a gun and shot the beast just
in time.
Again some wonderful writing. What I really like about these examples is that they are all different, but give the same sense of terror and horror that Shackleton's crew member must have felt.
ReplyDeleteKeep it coming J4, I'm loving it!
Beautiful writing - painting a vivid picture of a really scary situation!
ReplyDelete